back from julie and harry’s Chanukah party. i went! i actually went to a party. and it was a real party, just like i remember from my party days of 30+ years ago. people talked, everyone was nice, people read things, nobody drank too much. it was lovely. i was, of course, self-conscious that i was “crashing” these people’s party, even though that’s not what they would say. julie was as nice as could be. i spent some time talking with nikki’s mom, who knew even fewer people than knew me. gayle and will each said they might come by the cabin in the next couple of weeks, that’s a first! other people who know me on fb, i don’t think realized i was me. i wanted to run away a lot, but stayed for over two hours, until the first wave of people was leaving and i was among them. linda remembered she knew me but not from where, as did jo (whom i also ran into in ingles this morning.) i talked with lynday some, and ceilia a little bit, who didn’t remember having met me in summer, which is understandable. i see pictures of these folks all the time; they don’t of me.
i don’t remember being so self-conscious when i was younger, i wasn’t. but then i was younger, and confident. and i made a habit of being among people i liked. this is really new for me now and i feel so…something. not conspicuous, but self-conscious, like what am i doing there? they are so nice. i feel like i know them, but they really don’t know me. it will take time, i realize.
i took michael and randy their christmas hats, mushroom caps, before i went and i think they liked them.
they gave me a present, too:
randy said she reminded them of me. i don’t know, but i think it’s a compliment.
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