earth day

and now i am devastated.  i spent so much time getting this earth day walk down memory lane just right that i completely missed my first brasstown party meeting!  and i spent so much time practicing zoom yesterday, and tuning in only to realize i was 24 hours early, i was sooo looking forward to it!  i have been alone in this house for 37 days and now i don’t know how long i’ll have to wait for another one—it took me so long just to get included as it is...

i am truly devastated. i guess it all must be wearing on me more than i’m aware because missing the meeting, even though it was just a meeting of some people i don’t see very often, most of whom i really don’t know very well,  but missing it feels like everything.  it feels like...what’s the point?

i am bereft. truly.

...only now it is a couple of hours later and i’ve had conversations with margaret, and nettie, and julie (and even a heart from franklin!) and it’s better.  doesn’t take a lot but it does take some. and i was very conscious that this is not the time for full on dramatics, any more than it is for emotional supression.